1. |
the f word
05:34
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finally finished recording this on the 27th of june. there are a lot of versions. i wrote it in may. this was recorded on my friend Ethan's four-track cassette recorder. He's going to play drums if i can get us any gigs this summer and he was the original drummer in another band I'm in called princess//princess. The first version of this was really harsh. I recorded like 10 more kind of folk ones and then ended up doing this.
before all of that shit
i called you -------
sometimes
but i wasn't the first
i won't take credit
i won't lie
like i did to myself
all autumn
and through the wintertime
much to high i guess
i neglected
real life
kissing through a screen
seeing your skin
through a mist
thrashing in the dark
fuck my life
but i won't fuck you
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2. |
ac and tape loop
01:00
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recorded on may 27th or 28th or something
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3. |
cat
01:39
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written and recorded 6/14/15 on orange tape recorder and digital portastudio
the cat at my grandma's is really mean
the cat at my grandma's is a rlly bad scene
i know
i know
the cat at my aunt's house used to hide downstairs
the cat at my aunt's house went up heaven's stairs
i know
wait
i don't know
does the cat at my grandma's feel really bad?
does the cat at my grandma's make my grandma real mad?
i don't know
i don't know
my head spins in circles when i'm all alone
my head tries to tell me that i'm always alone
i know
fuck
i don't know
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4. |
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also on a collection of tracks which i hastily cobbled together last month enitled "four songs from may and one from february" which is actually innacurate. The song that I thought was from february was actually from January.
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5. |
i see are seeing me
03:35
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6. |
racetrack carcass
06:23
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Recorded 5/9/15
lyrics:
I should slash the anlyst's
Wrists next time I meet him,
Next time he's a part of me,
Next time I repeat him.
I am gazing thru a mist
That's gathering at the sockets
Of my already spinning eyes
Which gaze upon a locket.
Which will always be closed for me,
As long as I am in here.
Clenching my jaw at the funeral,
to try to capture my tears.
I should slash the analyst's
Tires while he's driving
In a shapeshifting sports car model,
Hear them screeching whining.
And he'd crash and break out hru my skull,
And die upon the impact
With the wall that stands outside my head.
He would die upon the racetrack.
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7. |
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recorded on a tuesday i think. right after finals ended. i put the microphone in the window and turned the input level way up so you can hear everything inside and outside. I did this for each track on Ethan's four-track and fucked around with panning. it sounds cheesy but in a way that i am proud of.
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8. |
crawling
03:15
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Recorded 6/15/15 on digital portastudio
I can't feel
Anybody's heartbeat but my own,
From underneath my muffling blankets,
From inside a circle of stone.
I'll try to cross between the
Tiny islands that are
Shreds inside their dioramas
Lost in makeup stars and hearts.
I can see your shadow
Moving outside of here.
I can see your arms moving
In circles unclear.
I crawl out of my own shadow.
I crawl into real sunlight.
I crawl out of warmth and comfort.
To see that I am blind.
previously known as "i wish i had no brain"
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9. |
John Cage
04:24
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Don't remember when I recorded this. Sometime in may. It's on that dumb song compilation from may.
I'm in a cloud trying to make some sound that I don't hate.
I don't want to seize the day,
broken in two by a new beam of blue that is blooming;
that is shooting through my face.
Catwalk across all the pillars of thought which are waiting
just to crush me as they fall.
I found it online. It's a new frame of mind that will take me,
outward waking, through the walls.
I don't mind being boring.
I'm not unfriendly. I'm just scared
of scaring you off so I just won't call you.
I guess I'd rather not than be prepared.
Should I feel bad about all of the taps that I'm running?
No. I'm nothing so I'm free.
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10. |
tongue kiss
04:57
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late june on Ethan's tape recorder.
There were some condoms and a pamphlet
Pretty good summary of how you felt
I’m really glad we never used them
Did you think that I was useless?
I wrote a song about a tongue kiss
Pretty good summary of how I felt
I want to be a part of something
That didn’t make me part of something
I don’t wanna touch you anymore
When you touch me like that I don’t feel like a whore
I just feel bored
-I’m glad that I am being honest
I rlly think I’m being honest now
I’m glad that I can care about u
I wonder if u care about me too-
I wrote a song about a tongue kiss
I wrote a song about some feelings I didn’t have
I wrote a song about a tongue kiss
I wrote a song about some bullshit fuck that
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